"Know thyself."- Socrates

Have you ever wondered what the difference between centered and self-centered is?

Below are the definitions for you.

But before you read them, I invite you to reflect on that for a moment.

I recently mentored one of my clients privately and I was genuinely stunned how these two words - which sound so close - are actually miles apart.

And how one of them has quietly become a source of judgment against anything related to personal growth, self-work, or coming back to yourself.

Because when we speak about the self - with a capital S - we’re talking about essence.

We’re talking about returning to who you truly are.

About doing the inner work so you can choose how to respond, what to create, and how to lead yourself first.

And yet…

The word self is so often used negatively.

Centered - sounds like a compliment.

Self-centered - sounds like an accusation.

And I think this is where society got confused.

Because in order to be centered, you must work on the self.

You must connect with yourself.

You must strengthen your inner foundation.

There is no other path.

Now… can someone be self-centered in a way that’s only about ego, taking, taking, taking, and ignoring others?

Yes.

But in my view, most of that is not even true self-focus.

It’s fear.

Fear of not being enough.

Fear of not being seen.

Fear of not being validated.

That’s not someone connected to their Self.

That’s someone disconnected from it.

And this is where the difference lies.

Centered

• Emotionally, mentally, or spiritually balanced and stable

• Calm, grounded, aligned with one’s values

• Focused from a place of inner strength

Examples:

“She stayed centered during the conflict.”

“Meditation helps me feel more centered.”

Centered is presence.

Alignment.

Inner authority.

Self-centered

• Primarily focused on oneself to the exclusion of others

• Marked by excessive concern with one’s own needs and importance

• Carries a negative, ego-driven connotation

Example:

“He’s so self-centered he never asks how others are doing.”

Self-centered is not power.

It’s often fear wearing armor.

So maybe the real distinction is this:

Centered = grounded in self.

Self-centered = stuck in ego.

And the irony is - the only way to become truly centered

is to go through the self.

Not away from it.

Love, Paulina.

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